So…
I never really talk about my love life right? (LIE! Haha)
I mean I've never talked about it in details… Right?
I'm going to write a story about, well, you can say 'love'. But it's not really about that actually. Just, read me out:
I love starting a story with a quote, and I posted this on instagram days ago;
We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason.
I've been going out with a guy for these past three months (going out, but not in a relationship, and it's not dating). Anyhow, we kept in touch for the whole three months I was in Perth.
Now this guy and I have one similarity: we're both ignorant. He's way more ignorant than me, and I think, somehow it kept me intrigued. I mean I keep on telling my friends and practically everyone that I want a decent guy who is kind, tender, faithful, funny, smart and believes in God. Apparently I am attracted to badboy. If you really think about it, half of my exes were and looked like badboys, one of them was a jerk, another one was the truest form of womanizer, and my last ex had many piercings. And this guy has tattoos. I am sooo into guys with tattoo (but not too many) - don't judge me. Just how much more messed up my taste in men can be?
Back to the story. Let's call this guy Tat. So Tat doesn't talk much, he smokes, and is a Christian. I think if I was born as a male, I would've turned out being like Tat, minus the smoking part. And the not-so-talkative part. We've known each other for pretty much eight months now but the first time we actually went out together after the wedding was on February.
After that Tat and I were going out together whenever we had time, between his works and futsal and my flights schedule. He never really said that he's interested in me but he took me to his friends' birthday dinner, or just hanging out with them. His friends, on the other hand, thought I was his girlfriend. But of course, I wasn't. And I thought it was okay, because I enjoyed things the way they were. Until tonight. Well two nights ago.
I found out that I was one of his options. It didn't really feel good because people (people who know him and me) started to notice us a couple and I'm pretty sure I looked like an idiot this whole time. So today (yesterday) I asked him about the other girl casually. And he said she's not his girlfriend. So I asked him if he likes the girl. And he said he doesn't know. Because we'll never know what will happen in the future.
And all I could think about that time was: What. The. Heck.
I mean I did go out with my other friends as well, but I was never regarded as a couple with them. Most importantly I must looked like an idiot in front of HIS friends. Because, of course, they know he's seeing this other girl too. GOSH. I felt so stupid!
Anyways, I think I've learned my lesson here. We've crossed path. And I guess I learned a thing or two from this situation:
- Now I know that I do love badboy look, I mean, jerk face, piercings, tattoos. The evidences are so blatant. Geez. But I still want a decent guy. With a tattoo. Ha!
- I think I've just met a guy who's exactly like me. I mean it's not really his fault making me an option (of course it's his fault! But I know he's only human). I've been making many guys as one of my options, for way longer time than this. And now I know it sucks to be treated that way. I have never really given a thought about their feelings. I'm sorry guys.
- Ignorant is not a good trait for someone's personality.
I don't think I met him by accident.
But I also think that we're not meant to be.
We can still be friends though.
There goes my story.
It's not really about love, right?
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