What. The.

It's June. Can't believe I haven't posted anything since March. But believe me, I did try to write something before. I just couldn't seem to find anything to write. Yep, I've been having writer's block ever since my last post. Plus I did a lot of traveling these past months. I only spent twelve days in my hometown on May - twelve days! Can you imagine that? I think I know how it feels to be a backpacker now, just, you know, with luggages instead of a backpack.

So…

I never really talk about my love life right? (LIE! Haha)

I mean I've never talked about it in details… Right?

I'm going to write a story about, well, you can say 'love'. But it's not really about that actually. Just, read me out:


I love starting a story with a quote, and I posted this on instagram days ago;

We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason.

I've been going out with a guy for these past three months (going out, but not in a relationship, and it's not dating). Anyhow, we kept in touch for the whole three months I was in Perth.

Now this guy and I have one similarity: we're both ignorant. He's way more ignorant than me, and I think, somehow it kept me intrigued. I mean I keep on telling my friends and practically everyone that I want a decent guy who is kind, tender, faithful, funny, smart and believes in God. Apparently I am attracted to badboy. If you really think about it, half of my exes were and looked like badboys, one of them was a jerk, another one was the truest form of womanizer, and my last ex had many piercings. And this guy has tattoos. I am sooo into guys with tattoo (but not too many) - don't judge me. Just how much more messed up my taste in men can be?

Back to the story. Let's call this guy Tat. So Tat doesn't talk much, he smokes, and is a Christian. I think if I was born as a male, I would've turned out being like Tat, minus the smoking part. And the not-so-talkative part. We've known each other for pretty much eight months now but the first time we actually went out together after the wedding was on February.

After that Tat and I were going out together whenever we had time, between his works and futsal and my flights schedule. He never really said that he's interested in me but he took me to his friends' birthday dinner, or just hanging out with them. His friends, on the other hand, thought I was his girlfriend. But of course, I wasn't. And I thought it was okay, because I enjoyed things the way they were. Until tonight. Well two nights ago.

I found out that I was one of his options. It didn't really feel good because people (people who know him and me) started to notice us a couple and I'm pretty sure I looked like an idiot this whole time. So today (yesterday) I asked him about the other girl casually. And he said she's not his girlfriend. So I asked him if he likes the girl. And he said he doesn't know. Because we'll never know what will happen in the future.

And all I could think about that time was: What. The. Heck.

I mean I did go out with my other friends as well, but I was never regarded as a couple with them. Most importantly I must looked like an idiot in front of HIS friends. Because, of course, they know he's seeing this other girl too. GOSH. I felt so stupid!

Anyways, I think I've learned my lesson here. We've crossed path. And I guess I learned a thing or two from this situation:
- Now I know that I do love badboy look, I mean, jerk face, piercings, tattoos. The evidences are so blatant. Geez. But I still want a decent guy. With a tattoo. Ha!

- I think I've just met a guy who's exactly like me. I mean it's not really his fault making me an option (of course it's his fault! But I know he's only human). I've been making many guys as one of my options, for way longer time than this. And now I know it sucks to be treated that way. I have never really given a thought about their feelings. I'm sorry guys.

- Ignorant is not a good trait for someone's personality.

I don't think I met him by accident.

But I also think that we're not meant to be.

We can still be friends though.

There goes my story.

It's not really about love, right?

friends lesson mistake quote relationship

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What. The.

A Beautiful Mind

"Small people talk about other people,
Average people talk about things,
Great people talk about ideas."

I believe you've heard of this quote at least once. I'm not sure who mentioned it originally, but the words pierce right through your mind. No? The first thing that comes to my mind was, 'Wow! I'm such a small person.' Because I talk about other people A LOT. I talk about my parents when I'm with my sisters. I talk about my siblings when I'm with my parents. I talk about celebrities like.. countless times. Of course I also talk about other things, which means I can also be classified as average people, but I rarely talk about ideas. Hmmm…

Ironically, I'm going to talk about a person - ha ha ha - whom I've known about two or three years (apparently I am a 'small' person - but I'm not gossiping here! Maybe there are bad small person and good small person, I'm the good one *winkwink*). He's one of the guys that you're not going to pay much attention to until he starts to speak. He's very clever, creative, multi-talented (he can play any musical instrument), charming - to both girls and boys, I'm telling you, nobody dislikes him -, believes in God, has a great sense of humor, a hard worker, and he's only three years older than me! He's sooo great I'm beginning to think he's a genius. Unfortunately, ladies, he's already taken.

Anyways, we had a deep-almost-philosophical-kind-of conversation and as always, he stunned me with most of his statements. As a matter of fact, he's the one who reminds me of the quote above. He's the kind of guy who jokes around all the time. But he can also be serious and I think that's what makes him interesting. At one point I asked him, "Does God make you a better person?"

"He can't make me. I turned to Him to be a better person."

That was his answer. And I don't know if it's my hormone or I'm just teary, I almost broke into tears just by reading his words (Ok, you might think I was overreacting. I thought the same. I think my hormones played bigger role here). Maybe because I never thought that way before. I always want to be the best for God. I want to do the best for Him. Sometimes I think I try really hard to get His attention. But I was focusing way too much on 'I' and not Him.

I heard a similar thing at church last Sunday.

"Don't work hard to give a 'payback' to God. Give your offerings as the sign of your gratitude towards God."

The culture of my family teaches us to reciprocate to our parents. It is considered good to work hard and give back what your parents had given to you, to take care of them in their old days. But just as God, I don't think my parents want me to regard this as an obligation. Of course I am obliged to do that. But again, just as God, I think my parents want me to do all those things as my way of showing my love towards them.

It is very important to be able to see things from different perspective, so that in turn, one can gain or choose a better perspective in life. We should think less about ourselves and start to shift our focus on God. I was really surprised to read my friend's words the other day. It got me realize something. He always gave his all in participating in church activities. He never complain - well he did, but not much I guess. And not surprising, his ideas and creations are always great.

Everything he said and done kind of left me - and I believe others - feel inferior to him. I told him that. And surprisingly he was surprised to hear my confession. Another thing about him is that even though he talks a lot, he doesn't talk about his life, or his past, or his stuff. That makes him a mystery to me. I told him I am an open book, but his book is sealed.

"Maybe I'm not a book. Maybe I'm just an idea, waiting for someone to turn me into a book."

And he was right. And with his answer an imaginary lightbulb pop up on my mind. Not everyone has to be as creative as he is. It is written in the bible that everyone has their own role. Each role supports each other in creating the body of Christ. He can be an idea. Or a pen. Or an ink. But he doesn't have to be a book. I don't have to be a book. I don't have to be an idea if he is an idea. Maybe I'm a writer. And I think one of the reasons why I feel inferior to him at times is because I admire him. I want to have his abilities. He seems to have it all.

But then again, as it is written in the bible, no matter how small or insignificant your role might seem, your existence is very important for the success of the bigger role. If you have an idea and a book but you don't have a pen, then you can't put your ideas into writings. If you don't have a good writer, your idea might seem boring and uninteresting.

Most people stop trying because they're scared. Scared of the responsibilities, or the risks. Or sometimes they think they're just not good enough. You can call it lack of confidence. Whatever it might be, they shouldn't have thought that way. We shouldn't have thought that way. God has abundant of blessings that He'd love to give to us. It is our faith - faith to accept or decline - that determines our readiness in accepting His blessings. His abundance has always been there, whether we want to accept it or not.

"What's the opposite of love? It's not hate, it's indifference.
If you hate, you still have some sort of feeling towards that something.
But if you're indifferent, you feel nothing."

That's another thing that he told me. At that time I could only think, "Gee, this grinch is brilliant!" Now that I've spent a few days thinking about it, I must say, he's still brilliant. I really wish I can say something clever like that. But here I am, talking about 'other people' in my blog, quoting someone else's words. I'd love to have people quoting me, seriously.

Anyway back to the topic. What I want to say is, he's very unique. He's one of the few interesting people I've ever met in my 22 years being alive. I mean I know some people who are older than him and they don't have even half of what he's having. But the most interesting part about him is his heart. I think he has a heart of a giver. I don't know he got there, but he's surely on the right track. He always gives his 100% in everything. At least that's how I see him.

Imagine if everyone in church gives their all just like him. Don't think about the failure. Or the risk. Or the responsibilities. Just think about God. And what they can do to give thanks to Him. Imagine if this doesn't happen only in church but in every community. It's going to be much more legendary than anything in this world.

He's a person with a beautiful mind.

I think it's because he turns to God to be better. Why don't we all start doing the same?

:)




PS. He's not perfect. He always tortures with his words. Human.. Ha!

Christian friends God Jesus lesson quote thoughts

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A Beautiful Mind

C to the N to the Y.

Happy (Chinese) New Year guys!

Chinese annual wishes in welcoming the new year goes like this:

恭喜发财

gong xi fa cai

新年快乐

xin nian kuai le

万事如意

wan shi ru yi 

歲歲平安

sui sui ping an

年年有余

nian nian you yu

It basically says Happy new year, may you have a good luck, years of peacefulness, be prosperous and may this year would be better (not respectively).

I didn't celebrate CNY for the past two years (I was in Sydney two years ago, and my grandpa passed away last year) so this one felt like something new. Something that I hadn't been doing for quite some time. But somehow, it didn't go as well as I'd expected.

Maybe it was just me… Or maybe Dad's getting old tired. But his temper rises as easy as I put the CNY cookies into my mouth. Seriously. We used to say to each other not to ruin the new year's aura with anger and negative feelings. But just three hours before NY he complained about the dinner. And then he got mad on the first day of NY. This morning he yelled at my mom, sister, brother and I.

Whooa.

Somebody needs a chill pill.

Well, maybe we were also at fault. But I really wish he can at least be more gentle in expressing his dislikes towards our attitude. And I think my hormones didn't help much to cope up with his anger and mean words.

It was still a fun day though. I met all the family and we had a good time. Had lots of sweets and cookies and cakes (also spring rolls and fried dumplings!) I think I gained more kilos than what I had lost.

I just love this kind of celebration. Very oriental. Very 'asian'. LOL. Very… familiar. :)

Wishing you a great new year people!

GBU.

Verse to remember:

1 Corinthians 2:9

"But as it is written;

Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,

Nor have entered into the heart of man,

The things which God prepared for those who love Him."

celebration chinese New year quote

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C to the N to the Y.

The Last One

Yeap, I've decided this is the last post for this year. hehe

I've just read a note from I-don't-know-who from Facebook and she actually posted loads of love quotes that some of them actually intrigue me :)

All love that has not friendship for its base,is like a mansion built upon the sand.

Love must not be a thing of words and fine talk. It must be a thing of action and sincerity

If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with.

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Some pray to marry the man they love,
my prayer will somewhat vary:
I humbly pray to Heaven above
that I love the man I marry

quote

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The Last One

Classic Romance

I've been wanting to write about this since I finished the book, but I haven't got the right moment and there's just too much to tell few days ago..

Persuasion, is definitely a weary book and I spent a very looooong time to finish it because it uses old-style English and the plot is superslow, BUT it is totally romantic!!! :)

Anne Elliot and Frederick Wentworth engaged eight years ago, but her close peers and family members persuaded her successfully to decline the engagement for he wasn't good enough to the decorous family. Anne regreted, but nothing she could do.

After eight and a half years, Frederick had become a Captain Wentworth and he was a wealthy man. While The Elliot started to bail out, Captain Wentworth came with his family and took over the house of Elliot, Kellynch Hall. Anne was still in love with Frederick but too many years had passed and proud had come to both of them.

Besides, Frederick had soon become close to TWO girls, Louisa and Henrietta Musgrove, and he showed no attention to Anne, even though they were sometimes in the same room. But after a long journey and jealousy from both, Frederick, at last, write her a letter!

The letter is long, but I think that is the climax. Here's the part that I love the most:

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, week and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this?...

That is the most romantic part, after that, you know. They got married. and the story ends. :)

See? Wenthworth is the man..! Guys nowadays just.. "gimme a break!" :3

P.S. One of the bloggers has removed his blog. Bye, Mr. Liar. :) no more lies to be read.. :P (turut berduka cita hahaah jk)

book P.S's quote

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Classic Romance

My new addiction

Gucci, Fendi, Prada purses, purchasing them finer things
Men they come a dime a dozen, just give me them diamond rings
I'm into a lot of bling, Cadillac, Chanel and Coach
Fellas boast but they can't really handle my female approach
Buying things is hard to say
Rocking Christian Audigier, Manolo, Polo, taking photos in my Cartier
So we can't go all the way, I know you might hate it but
I'm a shop for labels while them ladies lay and wait for love

Love's like a runway but which one do I love more?
No emotional baggage, just big bags filled with Dior
Love's like a runway, so what's all the fussing for?
Let's stop chasing them boys and shop some more.
Fergie - Labels or Love

celebrity lyrics OST quote song

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My new addiction

After classes..

As an opening:
"H, apalagi itu yang pernah ko kestau ka supaya huruf kecil smuanya?? Code-nya.. kestau di tagboard pleasee.. Thanks before! :D"

Just finished the tutorial for economic203 and I kind of like it. :D And btw (I'm using contractions! watever actually), I have done the two spaces thing after a full period, but apparently that is not exactly what this blog shown. It's still on one space but who am I to be so perfectionist and start to worry about craps? hahahaa

I think I'm gonna do my academic writing when I'm in the mood, not now.. hehe

So I just read a post from Fide. Her post is adorable and mulia... Like, totally!! She writes things about her hope and I just think that is sweet. hehe. And there is one post that I love the most, it is so funny. It said like this:

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,,sa gila mi ndak lama...

Mageeee,,,jengkel skali ka sama itu crazy boy T_T mau ka lempar ki sampe mati.. terus ku potong2 kasi jadi daging potong baru kasi makan harimau.. terus kalo dia jadi tai harimau sa blender ki lagi..*
-taken from Fidelia's official blog-

HAHAHAHAHA!

*Btw, sorry Fide - if you ever read this blog - for taking some of your blog's content. REALLY SORRY, but I have your name to be put in the end, so I'm just quoting..

education quote

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After classes..

Talking about Jack Black playing Po and that was in...

Kung-fu Panda!!

Well, we were twenty minutes late - thanks to WK - but that's okay.. The movie was still awesome.. This is a must watch movie!! "Prepare for awesomeness!!" hahahaha

And and talking about a comedian.., nothing can be as funny as Jack Black! x) He always plays cool - well, actually goofy -and sometimes stupid but he will make you laugh for sure.. hehehe :D Ci, you should really go see the movie even if you don't enjoying watching movies. hehe.

So the story was about a panda who was crazy about kung-fu but he himslef was a big fat noodle seller panda.. And his father was a DUCK! huahahahaha..

Okay okay, stop about the movie.. Fiuhh.. but you should watch it!! xD

Btw, I still have my super sensitivity sense, I don't know why.. Sometimes this thing just annoy me so much! I don't want to have these un-balanced hormon thing. *duhh*

Anyway, my carer name is Winston Gauder instead of Winson Gouda hahaha. He was awarded the Hurstville Citizen of the Year in 2003 and is a church minister. I can't imagine what my life would be, living with them. Dad told me that sometimes the nicest man can be the worst! *glek* haha.. I'm so nervous about coming to Sydney and suddenly I become afraid!

It was written on the Homestay Placement Details that I should try to write to them before my arrival but I really don't know where to start or what to write.. I know NOTHING about the college I'm going to and I feel so stupid. This is starting to make me worried and not exciting.. I can't feel the excitement on my nerves.. >.<

But as what Master Oogway said: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mistery, and today is a gift.. That's why they called it present." (It's an old saying, and it's a bit cliche but I like it since I watched the words been said on Kung-fu Panda.. xD)

So I must not worry too much about what is going to happen.. *deep sigh* Just pray for me please? ^^'

education mood movie quote

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Talking about Jack Black playing Po and that was in...

words

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
Regina Spektor - The Call (OST. The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian)

lyrics movie OST quote song

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words

a little more about 'her'

Do you remember when I told once about my friend who loves to play fire?? Yeah, she just told me that the other guy had KISSED her!! Okayyy, I don't mean to be conservative, but she is in a relationship! Besides, she told me that she doesn't love the other guy. She just wanted to put a beauty in her highschool time! wtf!! x(

That's not beauty babe.. haha Oyeah, and she also asked me whether my relationship with Eka was the same with what she had. HA! MANA MUNGKINNN!!! I told her that Eka and I are like brother and sister and she was like, 'yeah, me too..' haha.haha. ehm WHICH PART? Eka never kissed me. *ckck*

Well, I know that this time around we can't guarantee that everyone's being honest.., even myself (=='), even though I hate liars but sometimes it needed under certain circumstances. I hate to admit it, but it's true. Anyway, it's not a reason for us to not TRY the best we can to be honest right?

Oh well, I don't really have rights to judge here, coz I haven't been the most honest person lately. ==" But still... It doesn't feel right, and it's totally wrong.

Hmm, got sleepy. Been onlining but everyone was either off earlier or simply just cuekin me. Kinda boring..

Oh oh! I got another nice quote! It was from Alexander The Great. I was working on a paper about him for my history project. hehe. here it goes:

“I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.”

Alexander the Great


Nice right? He was so cool and genius but unfortunately, he's gay.. :3 Are geniuses all gay? huahahha.. And he was a Leo!! x) (this doesn't have anything to do with the project or what, but I just want to mention it. hoho)

ciao


P.S.
Scary thing that I did today:
~ Went swimming when I still on my period. *ehem* It's not healthy, that's why it's scary.. haha

friends quote

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a little more about 'her'

February 24th 2008

Have I told you that the internet at my house is sucks? Well, it's not just sucks. It also overlimited so quick that I couldn't post right away. Huh..

So, I've changed my blog's settings.. No more title. Yep, I thought that blog is supposed to be an electronic diary, and I don't think you write title on your diary. (You can do that if you want to, anyway) Whatever...

Anyway, I've just read the lastest story of Princess Diaries: Princess Mia. And to be honest, I am deeply disappointed. Michael and Mia did break up. And no, they didn't work it out. They ended up being friends. And Mia felt SOMETHING when she kissed J.P.!!! But her heart still bumping in un-explainable speed whenever she received Michael's email. So it must be MEANT that they're going to be together again someday. They HAD TO... At least they still had a chance.

But then again, it's not really important. I got this quote from Princess Mia that I really like (actually it is now shown as my quote - you can read it at the side bar)

Here's the quote:

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Eleanor Roosevelt

which is, I think, very nice, because it helps us to grow... (by doing the thing that we scare every day... Just one thing)

And there is another one - it's a love quote :) :

I feel hopeful that new love might very well be waiting for me right around the next corner.

Prince Artur Christoff Phillipe Gerard Grimaldi Renaldo - he's fake, btw


Well, that's a nice one too, right? I mean, for those who are broken hearted. Just never let go of hope that new love will come to you (and it might work for you, my dearest friend ;)). But from Mia's point of view, that didn't do her good. I mean, she'd actually dated J.P. after that (J.P. was the new love, duhh). But it's still true..

The last lesson that I read from the book is the fact that broken heart is not that BAD, if you know what i mean.. It is BAD, but it's not like you're gonna die or something.. (maybe you'll have soul crisis, but you'll be back to your regular basis after a while - basis is a word that I learnt for the book, this book is GREAT)

Back to the broken heart thing, I guess global warming (or the climate changes and storms everywhere) is more likely the thing that you - we - should care about more. I mean, it's worth thinking than some stupid thing called love. Kidding.... They're all important. ;)

love quote

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