I Don't Know

There's something about 'I don't know' that annoys me every time people say it too many times. It's like they don't care what to answer so just go with the 'I don't know.' Play safe. No risk.

I used to call you an 'IDK guy'. I don't know why but I didn't mind you saying 'I don't know' hundreds of times. It annoyed me, yes, but it didn't make me hated you.

I was fine this morning, I guess, doing my chores, we even went to the movies and everything was just right, until I read your blog. And then I couldn't take it anymore. I read it. I found out some new things that happened to you. Things that I don't know.

I don't know why but it kinda breaks my heart knowing I'm not the first person you tell anything about anymore. I don't know why I'm crying. I don't know why I even write this post. There's a part of me that wishes you would still wide awake right now and read this post and re-assure me that nothing's changed. But I was the one who made that change. Another part of me wants you here right now by my side so I've got a shoulder to cry on. Another part struggles to beg you not to forget me. But the last part just wants this feeling to go away. I don't know what to do. What to feel. What to think.

You used to be my IDK guy. But now I don't know...