Things That I Can Only Mention Here

Do you remember the time when twitter is not that booming and only celebrities using it and not many of your friends are using it? I do. And I have to admit, I tweeted a lot. Do you feel like you could share what you truly feel easier when only anonymous read it? I kind of having that feeling. I don't tweet that much now and when I feel like it, I always think twice now that I know there are quiet a number of people - who I know - will be asking questions and making conclusions about my tweets. And somehow it makes me uncomfortable.

And maybe that's why I'm getting back at this blog. Cos I'm like... It's not that I don't want people to read my tweets or posts about my true feelings. I mean, why would I even write a blog then? And it doesn't mean I don't tweet what I really feel. I tweet, but not about everything. It's just sometimes I wish the readers would be someone who I don't know. Hahaha. It makes me feel secure. Maybe because I want some distance between me and people who are close to me. I can't really expose how I really feel to them and I don't know why.

Anyway, I have another narrative. This time is from a first person point of view. It goes like this:

"Sometimes I feel like you're ready to let me go. I feel like there's something you've been hiding from me, something you didn't mention. I don't know if I'm wrong - God I hope I'm wrong - but I start questioning about your feelings now. Is this normal? Is it because I'm a girl, is it because a girl's heart is so sensitive that she cannot really tell what is actually happening? Or is it because of a girl's accurate feelings?

I'm hiding my tears, I can't think of any answer why I'm worrying about this thing. Because you're still there for me, you're still holding my hands, so what is going on with me? Is this a sign from God? Are You try to tell me something? I think I'm scared. I don't want to lose you."