Is It Possible

For a girl and a guy to have a close relationship that is purely platonic? Or is it possible for it to keep going even though each one of them has their own romantic interest?

I have always been the one who has that certainty that you can be friends with any gender you want, all you need is a genuine heart. A heart of friendship and the friendship will occur by its own, grows naturally. I mean I watched friends and I do believe that yes, Rachel and Joey can be best friends despite of everything that happened between them. But lately I started to get skeptical about all of this. The only guy friend who never fails to be my best friend, and I'm not trying to be ridiculously religious, is Jesus. Seriously.

Maybe, just a little maybe, because I'm a girl, I have the so called women-use-their-heart-to-think symptoms, but even if I have that, I don't think the logical department can understand why two of my used-to-be close friends (re: BFF) have become distant friends. Oh, yeah, they are male. And not one, but two. Either I'm bitchy or they just hate me (I might be bitchy once in a while, but I don't think I'm that hate-able. You know what I mean?) right? Or their girlfriend doesn't want them to be friends with me, but I think it's a bit silly, right? It's a platonic relationship! It's about being brother and sister without bloodline attachment. And I'm not talking about fuck buddy ok? I don't believe in those kind of stuff.

I mean, yeah, they probably used to have a crush on me, or me to them, but once we got over that part, we were really good at being best friend you know? We liked the same things. We laughed about the same jokes. We sang our fave song all the time. We knew each other inside out because that's what friends are for. We told each other about our feelings, we comfort each other, we cheer each other up, we support each other, we gossip about others and had the unspoken vow not to gossip about each other. (Me and my girls are also like this ;)) So what has changed?

What makes it so hard to say hello, or telling a best friend how you really feel, what you've been through, or the reason why you have to delete them twice from your facebook friend list? Or why you never explain to your supposedly-best-friend the reason you don't reply her either wallpost, message, or even comments?

Doesn't it make you feel all the memories between you two become meaningless? And the fact that you keep being friends with other people who you never been really close to and not being with that best friend? Or should I say, ex-best-friend? Doesn't it make you feel that you have wasted too much time on this particular person because at the end, you don't even bother to explain why you don't want to be friends anymore? And you don't even give them a chance to be 'just friend', no, because you deleted them from your friends list.

It makes me feel like I've never been a good enough friend. Makes me feel like there's no such thing as Barney, Robin and Ted. Makes me doubt myself, thinking where did I go wrong with this friendship? It got me thinking of my weaknesses, my negative sides, my possibly annoying habits that caused the changes. It makes all of the pictures that we took together seem worthless, and even intimidating sometimes. Now I wouldn't be able to proudly tell my children or grandchildren or just some random people of how awesome I am with my guy 'best friend'. I couldn't rebuke others opinion of 'no such thing as a platonic relationship' because I have slowly been led to believe that the friendship I thought we had was never exist.

Part of me want you to read this post, to realize, that even now I still want to be best friend. But part of me just wish you the best and want you to go on with your life. Because the saddest part is that you might don't even care. You might think: Wooo hohoho, slow down, woman, you're over-thinking it.

But I'm not. God knows I'm not over thinking it.

To all of people who have their own platonic relationship, don't ruin it, you two. We are all brothers and sisters in God, after all. Love peace, hate war, you know? :)